Tuesdays post, Antabuse and other things on my mind

You can never get enough of something that almost works.

Hi this is my latest blog post, firstly it has now been 25 weeks and 4 days since I last had a drink.

Tomorrow however is 'D Day' for me (or so i seem to be making it so) on making the decision as to whether or not i am ready to come off the Antabuse medication. I credit the whole of my sobriety so far to the psychol block that Antabuse has put on me, i.e knowing that if i have a drink it could make me seriously ill makes it easier not to reach for that drink. Although as my key worker has pointed out to me it has also took my own personnel strength not to say "feck the consequences im drinking anyway". Also no one held a gun to my head each morning and forced me to take the Antabuse, i could of easily thought im not gonna take it anymore so i know i can drink but i didn't, because i know i want sobriety and its for the best if i achieve that.

I am now starting to get stronger and i can't be on Antabuse forever, at some point im going to have to stop using that comfort pillow and do this myself. I am starting to feel that now might be that time, im due to see the nurse for another prescription tomorrow and i am in serious thought about whether or not to end the treatment of Antabuse then and take this flight solo.  From what i've been told i would still receive an emergency 2 week supply to 'break glass in case of emergency' and once took the pill would work within half and hour, so i suppose if a craving was ever really strong i could reach for that.  Im also very aware that there are meeting i can attend daily to keep strong through it as well as a number of contacts i have made at recovery who would be there for me if i needed them.

It going to be a tough choice to make and i will write later in the week about what i choose to do.

'At night its a drink, in the morning its medicine, ones too many but 100's never enough'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAWcs5H-qgQ&list=PLUvt2ON9yC0vFxrMqLqUXb9m8bZ5eeJDg&index=1