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this is my latest post

So this is my latest blog post, hello.  Where to start so OK I went out on a night out this weekend with a group of friends who were heavily drinking.  This is not something I would recommend doing during recovery as it can be I major trigger in my case more so because I used to drink as a coping mechanism for my social anxiety.  So how did I get on? Well I didn’t drink although there was times I was offered a drink and people around me were drunk.  So how did I manage it, well the first thing I would say is make sure the people who you are with are aware of your situation and more importantly respectful of that and won’t put pressure on you to drink or have a go at you for not drinking.  Secondly and I cannot stress this enough, have an exit strategy.  What do I mean by this? Well I’ve been out before and felt fine doing so, then part way through the night for whatever reason I’ve felt uncomfortable and got a craving to drink.  This is why an exit strategy is key to prevent using.  In my case I brief the people I’m going to be out with beforehand that there may come a point in the night were I just suddenly disappear and that if I do to respect it and not to bug my phone etc. but to just leave me alone and that I will be perfectly fine and it’s just my way of coping and making sure I don’t reach for a drink.  Disappearing works for me and I simply go home and relax with a herbal tea and this works nicely for me.

So a question I’m asked a lot, do I miss drink? Yes and no but on the most part no! I miss having drink as an easy quick go to coping option, however short term and dangerous that answer used to be. Overall I do not miss drink though given the negative effects financially, health wise, mental health wise, personal hygiene wise, relationship wise etc.  The con’s out way the pros every time.

I’m going to end today’s blog with a poem I’ve been given about addiction that I think is fairly spot on.

I am your addict

I hate meetings, I hate programs, I hate anyone who has a program

To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering

Allow me to introduce myself, I am addiction, I am cunning, baffling and powerful. I have killed millions and I am pleased.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort haven’t I? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call on me…I was there

I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb that you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can’t feel anything at all, this is true gratification.

And all I ask from you is long term suffering.

I’ve been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.

People don’t take me as seriously as they do strokes or heart attacks, fools, without my help these things would not be possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a program, meetings, all of these things weaken me and I can not function in the manner I am accustomed to. So I lie quietly, unseen but still there. When you only exist I may live. When you live I may only exist.