Here goes.....not written anything in a while time to jot down some thoughts!

So, I have not done any writing in a while and I have had a lot going on so I need to offload a little bit and hush what is a very loud mind at the moment.  This is my way of letting people in and sharing what is going on for me.

18 Months.  On Saturday 20th August I marked 18 months into my recovery from addiction to drink and drugs.  A hell of a lot has happened this last 18 months.  18 months ago I couldn't go a day without alcohol or cocaine.  I was stuck in the endless cycle of  getting and using drink and drugs with little regard for anything else be it relationships, health, money, accommodation, personal hygiene etc.  I was a mess.  Now 18 months in I give a shit about myself, I have written 3 books published on Amazon, writing more, I have great friends around me, I have great prospects namely in the job I have landed, and I have love, the love of my life, the only girl I have ever been prepared to marry back in my life and this time she has the real me not the mess I was when we were last together 3 years ago.  I never recovered from our split and never found anyone I loved like her and I feel like the luckiest guy alive to have her back in my life.  She is my world and so much more and I intend to spend the rest of my life making things up to her and making up for lost time with her over the last 3 years.

I have not started for the first time properly and willingly receiving counselling and working with a shrink.  I am getting a lot from it and starting to deal with things I needed to years ago.

Job.  I have (after a long and hard recruitment process consisting of writing a personal statement to job spec and 2 lengthy interviews) landed myself a job in the substance misuse sector.  I am so happy and proud of myself and how far I have come, I am actually gonna get paid to help others into recovery WOW (the lunatics have the keys to the asylum lol).  I have worked really hard as a recovery coach to put myself into a position of finding employment and studied even more endlessly in my own time into the subject to develop myself and its nice to get rewards for the sheer amount of passion I have to make a difference and work within this sector.  I have finally found my calling in life.

Continuing studies and thoughts.  I spend so much of my free time reading and watching anything I can find about alcohol, drugs, addiction and recovery.  In particular at the moment I have a preference for 'Harm Reduction'.  I love learning more and more the subject fascinates me.

Drug treatment.  It is still clear to me that wide scale reform is needed within the substance misuse sector and government policies.  Im not going to go into it fully in this post but a few things we need to look at is;

• Prohibition does not work Re:former legal highs.  History has shown that prohibition does not work and simply passing a law to make something illegal will do little to stop its use.  We need to look at Portugal's approach to the war on drugs i.e. making all drugs from weed to Heroin legal! It has proven success and should be the standard
• Alcohol, lets help people not capitalise from the suffering.  Alcohol abuse costs the NHS £3.5 Billion per year, yet the government does very little to reduce this....why??!! because they make more (a lot lot more) in taxes from the drink industry.....money means more then people and lives.
• Methadone.  I think there is a massive flaw within opiate addiction treatment in as much as too many people are spending far too long parked comfy on methadone as an answer instead of actually targeting and achieving complete abstinence from drugs.
• Users belong in treatment and Dealers belong in jail, simple!

Back to the Future.  So I am a huge Back to the Future geek (that is a huge understatement to be fair).  I need to start doing something big about this love of mine, so I am going to collect as many props and merchandise as possible and save up to go to America and go to the shooting locations of the films.  Its a dream and you must always (if they are possible) aim to fulfill your dreams.

Me and thoughts and reflections thanks for reading and I will write more soon

Love Karl

PLEASE READ AND ENTER MY FRAGILE & UPSET MIND!

Hi, this blog post finds you with me feeling very upset and emotional given the harmful actions of others.

Right, let me try and construct this right.  As many of you know I am nearly 18 months into my recovery.  The last few months have seen me find solace with the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.  I love my program and it keeps me in recovery.

A fellow member of NA has de-friended me and claimed to want to have nothing to do with me and not talk to me as I have 'been seen to' break the traditions of NA! I have not! I know how these things work and am sure my name is now shit and being slagged off far and wide and this hurts me as I only ever have the best of intentions and would never hurt a soul.  Yet the few involved in falseley slanderring my name right now are acting in a vile and spiteful manner in an act of insecure jealously! I don't wish to allow my ego to take over but the facts are;

- I have a great flat
- I have a great family life
- I have a loving relationship in my life
- I have written, published and sold 3 books
- I am admired as such and in talks to do many great talks and media appearances
- I have an upcoming interview for a great job in the substance misuse sector
- I am working toward a great career within the substance misuse field, which WILL happen soon enough
- I have written 3 mini training programs and worksheets which are rolled out successfully and facilitated by me to service users.
- I am near on 18 months into my recovery

The fact is it is easy to be envy-us of all the above if you are deep routed in resentments and insecurities and these sorts of thoughts can lead to spiteful behaviors.

The accusation arises from the fact that I have recently written a book 'one foot in front of the other'.  In the book there is a section which list some of the catchphrases that do the round in recovery.  At no point do I mention the fellowships or NA or services for that matter, how can any such setup claim ownership of little phases that PEOPLE say.  The section is below so make up your own mind, and please if you see the fictional part where I break the tradition point it out to the blind me!
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There are a lot of addiction and recovery catchphrases; in this chapter I will list some of them.

One step at a time

It’s an inside job

Just keep coming

Work the steps

Fake it till you make it

One day at a time

You’re in the right place

It’s a journey, not a destination

Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink

Live in the NOW

No pain, no gain

Keep the plug in the jug

It takes time

90 meetings in 90 days

You are not alone

Count your blessings

Change is a process, not an event

It's a marathon, not a sprint

Keep it simple stupid

Addiction requires lies, recovery requires honesty. You can't save your face and your arse at the same time

Addiction is suicide by installments

It's not what you know about recovery that keeps you sober, it's what you do about recovery that keep you sober.

Just say no

Listen to learn, learn to listen

When something bad happens in life you have three choices: you can let it define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you

By the grace of my higher power

If it’s not in your hula hoop then it's none of your business

This too shall pass

Recovery will be a road of discovery for me

You’re worth it

It works if you work it so work it your worth it!

The elevators broken take the stairs.

A new life for a old yin

Progress, not perfection

Except the things you can't change

Hugs not drugs

Pass it on

An addict alone is in bad company

One drink is too many and a thousand not enough

We will love you until you love yourself

One promise, many gifts

One moment at a time

To thine own self be true

Easy does it

Change your thoughts, to change your actions, to change your life

Time to grow up

Stop running

H.A.L.T. Don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired

7 Days without a meeting makes one weak

If there's a light at the end of the tunnel, stop ordering more tunnel

In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a revolutionary act

Let in the good, block out the bad

Think! Think! Think!

Live & let live!

Walking the bridge to normal living

Keep doing the right thing, and the right things will happen

Name it, claim it and dump it

Not my circus, not my monkey

Do the action and the attitude will follow

It's not the place you're at. It's where you're at in the place

Don't leave before the miracle happens

I’m now living, instead of just existing

If you get lost, you can find us on the steps

Baby steps

Feelings are not facts

Let go and let God

If you do what you always do, you will get what you always got

Don’t pole volt over an ant hill

Play the tape through

What you throw out comes back to you!

Stick with the winners, win with the stickers

NUTS – Not using the steps

Keep coming back

Just for today

It is clear that there are a lot of different catchphrases that do the rounds within recovery, some are more useful then others but one must be wise enough to acknowledge them all and draw inspiration and strength from them where ever possible
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